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Hi all,
As usual, thank you so much for hanging in there with me over the years (or if you have signed up to read this blog recently). I figured since part of Scrum is about transparency, I need to let you — my readers, friends, clients,business partners, business competitors, prospective-clients, past-clients, and anyone else who reads this very focused blog — know what has occurred in my personal life over the past six months.
I hope this gives some context about where I have been and where I am planning on going in the future (as you have been getting glances at it recently).
If you do not want to hear about it, you can skip this entry and I will return to “my” version of normal soon.
Last September, my father was diagnosed with metastatic melanoma in the lining of his lungs. It was diagnosed at that point as “stage 4″ (which is bad) and the doctors gave him a prognosis of six months to live.
Throughout the past six months, my father underwent treatments that I hope you or your loved ones will never have to go through in the future. If you have been through this, you know where I am coming from. He underwent test treatments at some of the nations finest clinics in both experimental and documented procedures. He did this all without ever complaining a peep about it.
Three weeks ago I had the opportunity to bring my father and mother up from South Florida to the Gaylord Palms in Orlando during the Scrum Gathering and Trainers/Coaches retreat. You may have seen him being wheeled around in the wheelchair by either myself or my mother. He met so many of you there and was incredibly impressed with the quality of people I have decided to surround myself with on both a professional and personal level.
Most people who saw him did not realize he had just left his last hospital visit when the doctors told him all preventative care was stopping. The cancer had spread out-of-control to his brain, spine, lungs, blood, bones, liver, and a few other major organs. Nothing more could be done to fight it. It was over that weekend with me that he admitted that he finally realized he was dying. He had an incredible time meeting many of you there, and again, some of the comments I heard from people who met him stated that he did not look like a person ready to die, but a person who knew how to live.
When he returned home from Orlando, Hospice was engaged to start helping around the house with my mother and sister. Within one week (I arrived), it was so bad that we had to make the toughest decision to place him into a hospice facility. He knew he was ready to go.
Dozens and dozens of people came to visit him while he was in hospice. Finally after Friday, I had to limit the amount of people coming in to the room so my father could rest.
A week ago Saturday my father spoke his last words to my mother, on their anniversary of their engagement, and asked her, “Will you marry me?” again. This was after 43 years of marriage to the same man. These were his last coherent spoken words to my mother.
By Sunday he had slipped into a space where, I have learned, the body and soul (however you want to look at it) starting shutting down in two different — very different — processes. Up until Monday evening, my father could hear anything we said to him. I know this because on many occasions we put people on speaker phone up to his ear to say their last goodbyes (this was heart wrenching and very personal) only to get through a few words before the person speaking and my father were in tears. He could no longer communicate by voice.
A long day later (Tuesday) my father passed away at about 3:08 in the afternoon, with my mother and myself present at his last breath. This was an incredible experience to be a part of, and I was honored to be there to be with them.
While we were (and still are) in mourning, my parents have a very religious base as Catholics (I am now an atheist, which you can see where some possible contention can come into place). Since it was considered a “holy week” in the Church, my dad could not be buried until this week.
So, we had a memorial service last night and afternoon (over 200 people showed up) and then had the funeral mass this morning, with the burial to follow. My great friend John and his wife Laurie hosted a celebration at their house after for almost 100 people (I thank them immensely for doing this for us!).
So.
Why do I bring up this information in a Scrum blog?
Well.
First off… I *know* this is totally off topic.
I also know that you have seen a change in the way things have been coming out of this blog for at least the past six months. Now that my father has passed away, I thought I’d bring you up on what is happening in my life so you see I was not just putting you on “ignore.”
I had some other priorities.
Like everyone.
I am human.
If you’d like to find out more about my dad, you can visit www.michaelvizdos.com/father (there are a few places we’d like to send donations — anything would be awesome!).
I’ll write a little more tomorrow night about how this experience has changed me, and how it will help me focus on some incredible things that we — as a community — can do in this world to make some changes ranging from minor to totally mind blowing.
Stick with me.
I cannot do this alone.
Are you ready? 
The world is about to change.
Well.
At least our world.
For the better.
Thank you.
- mike vizdos
16 Comments! to “A New Beginning for Michael Vizdos and ImplementingScrum”
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April 14th, 2009 at 10:56 pm
Very nice Mike. I am very sorry for your loss.
April 14th, 2009 at 11:47 pm
Mike,
My deepest condolences. What a heart rendering and beautiful story. Thank you for sharing your your deeply personal thoughts and feelings. By doing so, I hope it has helped lighten your burden a little.
April 15th, 2009 at 6:52 am
Hi Mike,
On the 10th of april last year, my father-in-law passed away in a manner very similar to what you experienced. The people he loved were also there when he gave his last breath. I can very much relate to your story.
I am confident your father knew he was surrounded by his loved ones and wish you and your relatives the very best in these difficult times.
Peter
April 15th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Mike,
Take care, take care of you loved ones, and let us know if you need help or a listening ear.
Hubert
April 15th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Mike,
Wow…what a story. I have (because I am older than you – ha!) passed through the seasons of dying for both my parents and one of my wife’s parents(none of their passings were “pretty”) so I can relate to the loss you and your family are feeling at this time.
As you know, your dad is better off now than he was a few weeks ago but those of you left on earth have a grieving process to journey through for weeks/months/years.
My thoughts and prayers (I grew up a Catholic and have been an evangelical Christian for over 30 years now) are with you and your family during this difficult transition time.
Next time you are in town let’s have breakfast or lunch and talk about scrum or what life is like being an atheist.
Your friend and colleague!
Ron
April 15th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
So sorry to hear about your Dad. Find comfort in that he did died surrounded by love.
April 15th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
I am truly sorry for your loss. It certainly is a reminder what a precious thing life and family are. Sure gets me to think about what my priorities are. Thanks for this sharing.
April 16th, 2009 at 9:41 am
I am so sorry for your loss, my friend. I wish your family comfort and peace as they go through coping with this difficult time.
April 16th, 2009 at 9:55 am
Mike,
I truely am sorry for your loss of your father. I was with mine 10 years ago at his bedside when he passed and I understand. Keep up the good fight, your presence in the Scrum movement is legend.
Paul
April 17th, 2009 at 7:13 pm
Mike,
Sorry to hear of your loss. Thank you for sharing this. Your father must have been beaming with pride during the conference!
Please take the time you need and want and come back to whatever state of “normal” that works for you!
Sincerely,
Miroslav
April 19th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
Mike,
You are so warm and loving to give us your father’s story: his love of your mother, his love of you, and your love for him and his journey. I value you for sharing your own journey. Your love and transitions help me evaluate my own love and transitions. Thank you so so so much. With much love,
Jean
May 5th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
Mike,
I came across your website while looking for scrum resources, and I found your post to be comforting, as I have recently spent several long weeks with my father when things were touch and go in the ICU.
Thank you for sharing this very personal information.
Lynn
June 8th, 2009 at 7:41 pm
MV,
I was adding your details to an event, when I ventured to read this.
Totally lost for words.
I truly value your courage and openness in sharing your love and sadness in your father’s passing.
Death is a necessary part of life, and those whom it has touched can attest to its profound impact on our lives.
Please let time heal, it will. Hold those you love close and take care.
be well and remain true to yourself.
Mike
June 10th, 2009 at 11:12 pm
Thank you and everyone else for the great words. I am slowly starting to crank up the machine i call http://www.implementingscrum.com and start getting some GOOD STUFF out into the world.
June 21st, 2009 at 5:58 am
Very nice post.. Its really nice to see a son writing about his own father.. Im sure he has been a very lucky dad to have you as a son and his grandchildren too… Its that we all face death one day and we will face of leaving people whome we love.. But Life should go on..
Get back on your scrum blog Im a good fan of it and your lovely cartoons too
June 28th, 2009 at 11:47 pm
I appreciate it.