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October 15-20, 2007
[warning on: this is a long post — I was without email access most of last week]
Hi all.
I am writing this on Saturday evening in my hotel room (it will not go out until Monday evening when I get back on the grid in Kyiv). A loud bang just went off outside my hotel room, and on the highway below two cars were in an accident and traffic is starting to snarl.
Wow.
What a week it has been for me. As usual, I have learned a lot and am not sorry for crossing so many miles to do learn it.
Last Monday morning, just after dropping off my family in Washington, DC, from a two week holiday in Spain (Madrid, Valencia, and a little fishing village on the beach) I boarded a plane up to New York City, camped out there most of the day (posted to my blog!), and hopped onto a flight to Kyiv, Ukraine. Seven time zones and almost 5,000 miles away.
Arriving in Kyiv on Tuesday morning (and clearing customs/immigration with an entry/exit card, stamped three times), I was met by a gentleman I met on my previous trip named Alexey. He was nice enough to pick me up at the airport and we spent the morning running a few errands and then picked up his wife and dog to head out to his parents house outside the city.
It would turn into a great day of rest, great food, and conversation (not all about agile and scrum lol). While he was planning on going with me in the morning to Moscow, unfortunately he was sick and decided not to go. He was gracious enough to drop me off early Wednesday morning to the airport in Kyiv, and is leaving for a holiday so I will not see him in Kyiv this week.
On the flight to Moscow, I noticed some white stuff on the ground. Snow. Already. Nice 
.
And.
I had a great seat on the airplane — I got a free massage from the two year old little Russian girl sitting behind me kicking the back of my chair. Ah. The little gifts in life. At least this flight was under two hours. I slipped my watch ahead one more hour (now +8 from home) and gathered my belongings to clear Russian customs and immigration.
Safety tip for those from the US going to Russia (and I am guessing some other countries too):
You cannot just hop on a plane with your passport and say, “Hi. I am here. I want to visit your country.”
That will not fly.
The good thing is I knew this before I left and had an official letter of invitation and all the legal visa paperwork completed (amazing what money can buy for you these days…. some people may consider it a “bribe” but I look at it more as a service to let me not have to deal with all the paperwork (and a trip to one of the Russian Embassies in the USA) — if you need a recommendation for a company that offers this service, let me know as they provided what they promised.
So.
Brrr.
Coldness for this ex-Florida-Boy hit me like a ton of bricks. When I packed the bag for this trip, I did not anticipate the weather would change from “Fall” to “Winter” while we were in Spain for two weeks.
Live and learn I guess.
After clearing customs (by the way, the female customs officers here all [OK… “most”] look like they came directly from a Robert Palmer video of the ’80’s — except they had on cool looking military uniforms heh) and getting an entry and exit card (stamped three times), I was met by a Russian speaking driver of the company who hosted my visit here to teach the CSM Class.
At least I hoped it was him. It sounds like he was a little miffed because he was expecting “two” people (remember the guy that got sick from Kyiv?) but I showed him the address of the hotel and he grunted something, took one of my bags, and started sprinting to his car. Guess the cold was motivating to him too (smile). So I sat in the front seat and smiled while he negotiated the Moscow traffic for about a half hour ride to the hotel near the training center.
Think Manhattan traffic — a total CF (or “mess”) sometimes but everyone follows the rules. Apparently there was a world cup football game happening, something I did not know (read: stupid clueless American). I would learn more about this later, of course.
The traffic was not as bad as Kyiv (or Bogota, Colombia, for that matter), where they drive on the SIDE WALKS and you seriously need to keep your eyes out for some car careening around a corner while you are walking (another safety tip from your world trotting friend Mike!).
The driver drops me off at the hotel and puts my bags on the ground, gets in the car, and leaves.
Guess I will see the bill for that later (smile).
Upon checkin at the hotel (and pre-paying on the Visa — no American Express here!), I was told (or at least this is what I think she said) to take the elevator to the 16th floor where a chamber maid would give me my key. And I got a few papers and heard a bunch of stamping sounds happening in the background.
Wahoo… I thought…. Chamber Maid. Wondering if she would be as totally hot as the Customs and Immigration officers…..
Sadly.
No.
That was not the case. Think grandma. Then think pissed-off grandma because apparently I got assigned a room she did not yet clean.
She yells something at me then takes me around the corner and points to a couch to wait.
I assume she means she is going to clean my room and I should wait.
No problemo.
I am good at waiting.
Two hours later, she comes back with my key. Sweating and breathing hard. Takes me to my room and I think she wants me to inspect the room. I do. It looks like a room.
I smile.
She goes away.
I get inside and start unpacking. At about this time, one of the guys that will be helping me through this trip (Askhat) I exchange some text messages agreeing that he will pick me up for my talk at the local “Russian Agile” Users group that evening. Oh (smile). No problemo.
I have about an hour to rest and as I am resting (on the bed that is about 3 inches to short for my relatively short body in the first place) someone starts pounding on the door.
“Oh no, I screwed up something and they are coming for me!” I thought.
Nope.
Just some guy humping in a TV to install in my room (did not even notice there was not one). After adjusting it to bring in all 10 stations (all in Russian, of course, with 4 of the ten being exactly the same!), he leaves. I know now there will be no TV for me on this trip — although some evenings it has been fun just seeing what is on there. It reminds me that a month away from the TV is not always a bad thing.
At 6:00 we meet down in the lobby and hop into a car to cross town to the Agile Users Group meeting. I am informed I am giving a talk on Agile Estimation and Planning (eh… I must have missed that email!) but no problem, this is something I can do with no problem. Also, apparently Russia is playing the Great British tonight in a football game (nobody thinks Russia will win) and it is contending with the time of my talk. O well. Whatever works.
About 28-30 people attended, and nobody was listening — or watching — the game as far as I could tell.
The talk went well (based on material from Mike Cohn, the guy that is THE go to person on that topic!) and people had many questions.
And.
During the meeting, the Russians won the game.
So the trip home (err… back to the hotel) was filled with a bunch of [possibly drunk…. lets say “loud”]] people driving cars in the [freezing] rain.
I arrive back at the hotel and nod to my Chamber Maid on the 16th floor. I think my goal will be to at least make her smile. She checks off a box and three stamping sounds are made.
Not having any internet access, I start reading a book. A real book. Not technical bla bla. It is called, “The Lemon Tree” by Sandy Tolan
So.
Finally Wednesday morning comes and I walk to the training center (about a mile). Nice day for a stroll. Not. But, if you have ever seen the movie, “Office Space” with the beginning credits of the guy walking faster than the cars were moving — that was me here. So I smiled a lot while walking. Strange looks, but I am used to that!
At the training center, I dad to hand over my passport again, and three stamping sounds went off behind the desk and I was handed a visitor card for the day.
Humped it up the stairs to the training room and it was set up with all the chairs facing away from the projector screen. No big deal. We fixed the chairs. I knew it would change throughout the sessions anyway….
There would be 28 people in attendance for the next two days.
Suffice it to say the two days went great, and Moscow now has 28 new Certified Scrum Masters running around with their new credentials. I wonder how the marketing people will spin this in each of their companies. The people taking the workshop were great and all of them participated to their fullest extent. When working with a company or training session in another country (or language), I remind myself (and the attendees) that I need to speak s-l-o-w-l-y and allow them to do the exercises in whatever language their tables want to do them in (although debriefs are in English). It was not that hard here as everyone but me spoke Russian. In other places, I have taught classes with people in attendance (at one workshop) who spoke Russian, Ukrainian, Dutch, English, and others.
My good jokes and stories go over just as well — or as bad — as anywhere else. The one thing I did notice during this one is that this group of Russian students did not have a hard time at all with the “feedback” module of the workshop. Apparently, they are used to being very direct already but the exercise did help clarify some things for both them and me!
We concluded each day on time and people went away generally happy. With 28 people in the workshop, the dynamics are much different than with 16 or even 10 or less.
And.
I have come to realize that this is acceptable to me.
Applying some of the agile techniques, I will inspect and adapt as needed to make the next workshop (in Kyiv Tuesday and Wednesday) even better based on the feedback from this group. This is something I have learned is extremely valuable for everyone involved.
And.
I tell people if they have taken the CSM workshop from me (anytime), they are always welcome to request the latest and most up-to-date materials I am teaching. Not many people take me up on that offer; however, people are happy that I offer that.
So.
Still with me?
Thank you (smile).
Today… Saturday… I met with Askhat (and another person) for most of the afternoon and they took me via the subway system here down to Red Square and the Kremlin. The subway — wow — deep; I mean take the deepest subway entry in DC or Boston and multiply that by at least three or four; it would suck having to huff it out of there if an escalator stopped working (remembering days like that In Boston and DC). I have pics and cool memories from the afternoon. Also… finally got away from the hotel food and had authentic Russian food…. no vodka though (just beer).
Unfortunately all the souvenirs they were selling could be found at many shops in the USA, so I decided that I would keep my load of stuff going home lighter.
So tonight (Saturday) I am writing you this and, based on how the weather here looks tomorrow, I will be writing some blog entries for the coming week. I got an email from Tony, our artist for the site, and he is unable to draw a new comic this week. So… I am going back tomorrow to do some write-ups on some of the older material and seeing if anything needs to be added or changed.
As you know by now, I usually do not run out of things to say.
And maybe I will start finishing the outline of my new book and start writing some sample chapters. Wahoo.
Hope all is well with you and I do hope this entry provided some type of value for you.
It is real world stuff from me as I go around the world talking to people about Implementing Scrum.
Oh, and I just looked out the window…. it seems like 5 more cars are now involved in the accident below. Lots of honking. No police cars. Time to find my headphones to sleep….
Hi all.
Just wanted to let you know that I will be in Moscow teaching a CSM Workshop this Thursday and Friday (October 18-19), and am planning on staying in Moscow over the weekend. So if you are interested in meeting or attending the workshop, please let me know.
On Tuesday and Wednesday next week, I will be teaching a CSM Workshop in Kyiv (October 23-24). Same offer for meeting goes while I am in town.
More information on all my upcoming workshops can be found at www.michaelvizdos.com. And there are actually some public CSM Workshops happening back in the USA too!
I will most likely blog more about the experience(s) if I can.
With my usual style and fun.
I hope!
And get ready for part 3 of the series on how to “combine” the “Top Down” with the “Bottom Up” approach to Implementing Scrum coming next week….
Kyiv - Day 3 and 4 - First Kyiv CSM Workshop “Done”!
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*** Interested in becoming a Certified Scrum Master? Come to my next workshop! ***
Day one went much as it normally does. I cover a lot of the “basics” of Scum, and the point of this is to make sure people understand — as a team or group — what the common vocabulary should be according to “the books.” In addition to this, I also inject my patented comments about reality-based Scrum…. “The book says this…. and you see bla bla bla a lot in reality.” I cover this more on the second day. One of the great exercises we do is called the “59 minute Scrum” — which is a simulation of a very non-technical based version of actually implementing Scrum. In other workshops, I usually allow participants to select which one to work on (there are three that I use, including things similar to “A Martian Tour of Earth”, “Doggy DayCare”, and “A Spam Brand Theme Park.”
While I presented this in English, I allowed each group or table to use each discussion time (for the simulations and break-out discussions) to be completed in whatever language they decided (there was a mix of Russian, Ukrainian, English, and more represented). This was helpful for each table but put me at a slight disadvantage (although I could tell when they were getting off-topic somehow [lol]). We debriefed all exercises in English.
And I had to remind myself to speak slowly. Sometimes I know I did not. Ug. I am passionate about this topic, and I can get to speaking quickly. I apologize (and apologizED during the workshop).
I decided to just assign the “Spam Brand” theme park to all the tables to make the discussions similar; also, when I asked about “Doggy DayCare” I got blank stares and heard crickets (for those that do not know this, in the US when people go on vacation/holiday they drop off their dogs at a place where other dogs get pampered better (usually) than they do at home OR people drop off their dogs to play at these places during the day while they are at work). For the “Martian Tour of Earth” — I joked that we may as well have called it “Mike Vizdos visiting Kyiv” (at least they laughed at that instead of the crickets and blank stares).
So we did Spam Brand Theme Parks (you know, like creating a Disney World like place based on that [insert whatever this really is made of] stuff called Spam (not e-mail spam — ug…. let’s see if email filters catch this one lol). It was great and there were some great discussions about this.
Lunch was great (some people did not like it). Liver. Yummy. If there is one thing I can say, i do still like to try the local food (burp… had a cup of Hungarian Goulosh tonight!).
We had a successful first day and I (like other evenings) went out with some of the local firms to discuss what “the real world” looked like for Scrum in their eyes (and of course eat some more great food (had rabbit lasagna).
Day 2 of the class went awesome and people asked engaging questions — especially when I take some time to shut up and pull people from the audience to become a “panel” (and a different voice) to ask questions from other people in the workshop who are currently implementing Scrum. Good stuff. All was going well until my last exercise of the day when I discuss how to deal with “middle management” (Chickens).
Looks of stares and the cricket sounding ensued.
Huh? I thought. And asked, “Are you serious?” Maybe it was my translation of the concept, I thought? Damn… every other trap I set during the class (to help learn!) worked. What the heck?? Why?
I asked, “You know… the guys Dilbert makes fun of?”
Ruh-oh. Same thing. Some people laughed.
Er. Um.
This topic usually takes a good hour and I need to cut people OFF.
Wow.
I am learning something. Live and on the fly.
Just like what I have been teaching!
Their general response was, “Mike, we are outsourcing companies. We do work. Nobody wastes time at [insert management bla bla practices here].”
Wow.
Then when pressed about Dilbert, i asked if they read Dilbert and just said to themselves, “Those silly [nice word] Americans.” The response was generally “Yes.”
OK.
New tact. No wind (I think that is the term lol).
I asked if they wanted me to review the practices that THEIR clients (since remember, we have flipped the perspective here from the view of someone who is “taking” work currently) go through at some of the large clients I work with. And I told them if it did not add value, I would immediately stop it. One hour later, the module was complete and I hope we all learned some new things from different perspectives.
We finished off the day with each of them (congratulations!) becoming a Certified Scrum Master.
And we talked about the implications of what that actually could mean as the go back to their companies and start working with teams that may be implementing Scrum at their client sites (those who use off shoring).
This will be a topic of future discussion. I promise. I am learning a lot. And not from books, but by “being” here and talking to people face-to-face. Practicing what I talk about and teach.
We of course finished the day at a pub. More beer.
Then i left and had dinner with a host — Chicken Kiev.
Had to do it. When in Rome and all that…..
But.
NO vodka. I learned my lesson in a past life about trying to do that. Experience helped me there lol.
I do want to also take the opportunity to thank a few people who made the trip there a lot easier for me — including Alexey Krivitsky (organized the workshop for us), Tim Yevgrashyn (excellent host) and Marina (for managing the logistics of the apartment and transfers for me). Thank you tons. I look forward to coming back one day in the not too distant future.
I will leave the story of leaving the airport at Kyiv to another posting — or a beer sometime if you want to buy (smile). It’s a bit of a different process. And again, I learned more!
Wow. Fireworks are going off now. They must know I am here and are putting on a big party for me in my honor (I am totally KIDDING).
OK, I am going to go and try to call my family at home. Play some battleship online with my kid and see how life is going….
Gotta run….
Please send comments, questions, criticisms, ideas, or whatever here.
You can also enter The Forum to discuss this entry and other Scrum topics. Thank you!
June 23, 2007
Kyiv - Day Two.
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*** Interested in becoming a Certified Scrum Master? Come to my next workshop! ***
Not bitching or complaining… just putting things into perspective for my friends and readers who do not do a lot of traveling.
One quick word on my posting from yesterday’s events…. it was no way intended to offend anyone.
I am completely thankful and humbled for the hospitality and professionalism all of the people that I have met with have shown me. I appreciate it and love this part of the world!
Also though, please remember that I write this blog entry in a way (or style) that suits me. I am writing it like I am trying to tell you a story person-to-person. Like sitting in a pub (smile).
THIS [blog] is not formal writing. I understand that. This blog is not set up for that purpose…. The purpose is for me to have a little fun (and poke some fun at myself).
Yes, I know I have readers of this blog from other countries (all around the world actually!).
Yes, I know my writing style sometimes is not easily translated and is sometimes loaded with Americanisms.
But I am trying to have fun with this, maybe put a smile on your face once in a while, and help people learn about Scrum the way I see it being implemented in the real world.
I am who I am. Love it or hate it. At least accept it please!
Enough said? Please I hope so!
So.
On to Kyiv Day #2.
This morning was MUCH colder than yesterday. And cloudy. I awoke early and read/responded to emails and then went for a walk (after locking my three doors behind me) without my camera; my accu-window forecast said it was going to rain. Unfortunately, I was correct.
I got wet.
O well.
I did not melt.
Here is another good lesson for people to remember when traveling to Kyiv.
“Yes, of course we have drivers licenses,” stated a friend here when I asked him about it.
“Why?” He asked.
As he was asking the question horns were blowing and cars were going in the wrong direction on a one-way street.
Come to find out that the political people here (big black ford expeditions or mercedes 500/600 class or the really nice audis) all well, do not care about following the rules of the road.
Even better, it seems they set the example for the rest of the yahoos in their driving style. The cost of a ticket if they get stopped? Something like $2.00. Seriously. And if it goes to court, well, the court does not go after $2.00. Sounds like a business opportunity for someone in Kyiv if you guys are listening (laughing).
Why did I ask the question in the first place?
O yeah.
Because pedestrians do not have the right of way. I learned this an important way today.
I am not talking about the right of way in like in New York City (where people drive nuts).
But.
In New York City, the cars stay on the road and the people stay on the sidewalk. A nice symbiotic relationship exists and people do not kill each other.
People = Sidewalk.
Cars = Road.
Right?
Seems like someone has forgotten this here. But I guess for $2.00 you can pretend to drive like you are in the video game, “Grand Theft Auto.”
What am i talking about?
They drive on the SIDEWALKS here. And park too. Actually, they will park anywhere. The last two facts did not surprise me or bug me too much (the cars were not MOVING at me)… the first one — actually not knowing about it — almost killed me. Well at least I would have been plowed down by some really nice black mercedes 600 series car . And the guy driving it would have been fined two bucks. Nice.
So file that away for your next trip to Kyiv.
Back in the apartment in the morning after my walk, I did a bit more prep work for the CSM class — the first one ever to be held in Kyiv (or the entire Ukraine!) and was getting ready to go meet a client to work with their team while I was in town.
I had just opened the door from the shower (in my pink apartment with my bear rug and slippers next to the door) and the front door (the one inside the one from the outside) started to open.
“AH” i said.
“AH” she said (except in Ukrainian). But it actually sounded like “AH” to me, no matter how you actually write it (smile).
Immediately thoughts (from yesterday) went through my head that, holy shit, I was in somebody else’s apartment. I picked the wrong door or something.
And I was not fully clothed.
Eeek.
Turns out, through my thorough understanding of the Ukrainian language, that she was dropping off some things for the fridge, or “mini-bar.” Cool, I thought, while getting dressed.
Now, my language skills in Ukrainian are non-existant. So I used pointing gestures and said english words really loud (darn… they did it to me yesterday lol) about the satellite TV not working? Much hilarity ensued while I tried to explain it was not working.
I guess I got the point across.
Let me say a sincere “Thank you” to the people who read the blog yesterday and got it fixed by the time I got back to the pink apartment tonight. It scared the crap out of me because some Ukrainian lady was blaring on the TV (but as I was walking in, I did not understand it was the TV and… well… you get it by now). Wahoo… the power of the internet. Thanks again guys. Now I can watch the propaganda machine from the USA (CNN and others) along with being able to see how the rest of the world sees Americans.
One word on that.
I am sorry to the rest of the world for thinking we are all like what you see on TV.
Amazing what happens when you meet face-to-face (hmmm… is there a Scrum lesson here or anywhere in the rest of this posting Mike?)….
Now for the Scrum part (finally!).
Today I met with an outsourcing company (not to be named) and spent the afternoon working with them on talking about Scrum basics and working though a lot of questions they had for me. In addition to that, we did some exercises on Product Backlog Estimation and Planning (using Mike Cohn’s stuff for material).
It is extremely interesting to be working with teams that Americans (and other places) are outsourcing their work to.
Wow.
I think as I learn more about it over the next few weeks I will need to publish my thoughts publicly on this topic. Keep looking for it.
We wound up the day eating at a typical Ukrainian eating establishment. It was great food (and no, I could not convince myself that fried bull testicles would be a good idea to eat) — so we shared some different types of meat and some excellent potato pancakes (of sorts) from Georgia (not the Georgia in the USA)! We had some exquisite cranberry juice and, fortunately for me (as I am teaching tomorrow) no beer was put into my system tonight.
As I sit and write this with a Ukrainian channel going in the background (hey, I hear it is a great way to learn it), I notice an, “as seen on TV” infomercial // commercial about a breast enhancer.
It’s OK, this comment will be safe for work.
Wow. I thought, they MAKE those? Not only that, but, from the computerized pictures (no live hot Ukrainian models on this one) you can PROGRAM how um, enhanced, you want them! And guess where the switch (knob) is?
I am not joking.
Damn. It’s time to call it a night and go to sleep.
Just remember if you are reading this in America tomorrow morning and drinking your cup of coffee from Starbucks at 8:30, the first day of the Certified Scrum Training class will be in full swing and getting ready to wind down for the day. If you are reading this entry during my CSM class and I have not asked you to close your laptop yet, please do so and participate fully for the remainder of the class (thank you!).
Have an awesome day and I hope you enjoyed reading this entry. And thanks again to all my local hosts who are extremely helpful, generous, and kind to me.
Gotta run….
Please send comments, questions, criticisms, ideas, or whatever here.
You can also enter The Forum to discuss this entry and other Scrum topics. Thank you!
June 21, 2007
Kyiv - Day One.
*** Interested in becoming a Certified Scrum Master? Come to my next workshop! ***
We went to the apartment and I huffed it up stairs (no elevator) in a building that well, has been around for a while. It is historic .
After trying to get into the apartment, I found out the service that coordinated the apartment gave me the wrong apartment number. So, I met my neighbor.
Too bad it was not some hot Ukrainian woman in a towel, but at least it was an understanding big burly dude who just looked at me in amazement as I was trying to break into his apartment (he was in fact inside his own apartment and had a big bat with him). Oye. So he said (ok, yelled) something (intelligible to him, but ummm, somehow the f-bomb got dropped a few times I am pretty sure). The door slammed.
Hrumph. The piece of paper SAID 24. So I looked around and saw that there were three more apartments in this section. I moved to the one next door.
Still catching my breath from the haul up the stairs, I moved onto the apartment next door and tried one of the 25 keys on the holder. One worked. And, the bolted door lead to another door. So, finding yet another key, I opened the next door. At least there were only two doors (not like those Russian Dolls you can get that just keep getting smaller and smaller). And locked both behind me. Nice yellow slippers on the floor, but not mine. I hoped I had the right apartment.
The apartment is a beautiful pink. Lovely. Not really my choice of colors, but after meeting my neighbor and locking the doors behind me, I was happy to see I had a safe place to stay. “Shoot”, I thought, “The keys worked.” It has all the amenities of home, including satellite TV (which, I guess the bill was not paid because it just says something like “no service” (or wait… actually it says… o shoot… cannot type the words…. let’s leave it at “no service.” So I turned on the regular TV and listened to Ukrainian soap operas in the background. Looked around and saw that it had an empty fridge so it must be a rental (smile).
Time to leave for lunch already…. bags not even unpacked. Leaving my bags and sailing down the stairs, I looked back at the apartment and noticed a bright blue balcony over the entryway (this is a bit of foreshadowing!). Met my host downstairs.
Hope you are enjoying this, living vicariously through me — and really — the Scrum learning is coming too. I promise.
Kyiv is a great walking city I am learning. And the people are so friendly. Well, except if you are trying to break into their apartment.
I walked with my host to a metro station area for some local lunch (local, duh, I am here… but I told him we could skip McDonalds and TGIFridays!). We went to some local pub and I had coke and some chicken thing with a pickle. Yum. O… and the coke tastes like coke — real sugar I think (not the crap we get in the US with corn syrup). It does make a difference. But heck, it was still a coke that made me smile (I have a million of those lines). Oh, and you want to say “Coke-a-Cola” not coke. I guess there could be mistakes by the looks I was getting from people around me when I placed the order.
After lunch, we hopped into a cab to be zoomed across the city to an old soviet building that was used (I think “was” and not “is” anymore) to design aircraft for the Soviet military. They looked strikingly like the airplanes I see in other places in the world. After handing over my passport and going through a strip search by a hot Ukrainian woman in a towel — wait…. that did not happen…. I handed over my passport for examination to some lady that looked like she has been there since before the building was there and was allowed to pass through the turnstile into the lobby. There were two elevators. Here we go — and it is like a pushbutton type I have never seen before.
I turned on my phone (forgot I had it!) and it looks like it had service from the nice phone company in Kyiv.
Now… before you think I am some untraveled ethnocentric Americano… please remember I have done a bit of traveling in my past. And more than my sister, who thinks “Epcot” at Disney in Orlando is all you need to do to see the world. I love traveling. And I love learning things like I am learning now. I do hope you are enjoying this entry heh….
It was a hot day yesterday. About 33-34 degrees (close too 100, eh?). The room where I would start my first talk in the Ukraine — hosted by the awesome members of the local Agile Users Group — had no air conditioner. This was not a problem until AFTER I was done with my roundtable discussion.
Anyway, about 50 people were in attendance and I started with my usual warnings about, “Tell me if I am talking too fast or if I say some stupid Americanism that needs translation.” Then I jumped into my discussion.
Every time I lead this discussion, I get VERY nervous about audience participation. I should stop worrying.
I start this type of discussion on a white board drawing the skeleton of Scrum. I point out the steps, the artifacts, and the roles associated with Scrum. All of this is “by the book” kind of information. Then it gets interesting. When I first arrived, I asked people (on a scale from 1-5) about their experience with Scrum…. most in this audience were 1-2 with a few 5’s. I, by the way, do not consider myself a 5 on that scale.
I then start a product backlog — on the wall with a big piece of sticky white paper — for audience members to let me know what they want to talk about. Mostly it is about, “Scrum in the Real World” (wow… the title of my presentation!).
I usually have about 90 minutes to pull this off.
90 minutes flies by.
Great questions were asked, and I was finished. I will address some of them in upcoming writings.
Coffee break (I had water).
Then the group had two more presentations. One was from a company looking at the local Ukrainian market who wants to setup shop there and told some war stories of how a project got completed by using Scrum. Or sort of. Stuff like “death march” was used in there, so it must have been some variance of Scrum. Yeah. Good stuff.
Now, remember… I said it was a little hot.
And, after being up all night (since Monday morning eastern time at 4:30 AM), I had to stand up else I would have passed out and that would have looked bad for me. Coffee would have been a good idea in retrospect.
Another break (no coffee this time) and we went on to listen to another speaker who had much to say about off shore agile. I learned a lot from their perspective and will be writing more about this in the near future. He was the only “non-Enlish” speaker who apologized for his English language skills (about a zillion times) and said his Russian was much better. I thought I’d be funny from the back and say, “Thank you, and remember your English is wayyyyy better than my Russian!”
Expecting crickets sounding in the background, at least the crowd laughed (probably being polite, but much appreciated).
We wound up the meeting at about 7:00 PM local time (it is +7 hours from ET).
I was ready to go to sleep.
But then my ears perked.
“Pub” and “Beer” passed though my Ukrainian babble-fish like finely-tuned ears. Could it be?
All 50 of us descended upon a local pub for furthering our discussions on all things Scrum. Or not.
OK, we did not talk about Scrum (too much). But drink we did. Or they did. I stopped at one beer. I am thinking more will come as my stay progresses.
My host then asked if I wanted to go to dinner and we went to a local place for some Borsch, Beer, and Beef. Nothing like the three B’s for dinner .
After some great conversation and excellent food, I flagged down a taxi (at least I though so, some mercedes stopped anyway) and my host negotiated my rate back to the apartment and gave the driver an address (at least I thought he did, he was speaking Ukrainian with his head popped in through the window of the car”. I hopped in hoping it was not the last I saw of humanity. OK… not really.
But.
The “cab driver” spoke no english and had no idea where the heck he was going. After much “bla bla bla” from him and me thinking (very loudly and using the f-bomb in my mind) I cannot believe this, I got out a map and showed him where my apartment was.
Um.
It was useless to him because it was in English.
Ug.
What should have been a five minute cab ride wound up taking about 40 minutes through the back streets of Kyiv.
Nice tour. Fast and furious. Worse than when my father used to get lost and not admit it. OK… I do the same thing back home.
Remember earlier how I remembered looking back at the blue balcony? Well, after much of the cab driver “talking” to (ok, yelling at) me in Ukrainian and me just staring at him with a look of astonishment like, “does he think I am freaking deaf or TRYING to ignore him???” we whizzed by the blue balcony. “STOP” I yelled.
Looking around, well, um, nothing looked familiar except for the damn blue balcony.
So I paid the guy for my 5 minute taxi ride (the negotiated rate only!) and, tires spinning, I was left standing in a puff of white smoke (ahhh… the smell of spinning tires) in the beginnings of darkness on some street in Kiev surrounded by barking dogs.
Gulp.
Ug. The front door to the apartment complex was locked. And it had a numbered keypad (not electronic, push button — like the elevator) on it.
Looking through the apartment information that was handed to me (it was in my pocket, phew), I found a three numbered code and… it did not work. Not really surprised. But hey…. maybe this was the wrong building I gulped.
I tried it again. And. It it did not work.
Remembering an episode of Scooby Doo (I watch the movies with my kids!), I looked harshly at the numbers on the keypad. Three were worn down. I kinda pushed all three at once and viola, whoosh, the door inched open.
No lights inside. And a haul up the stairs to the apartment. And outside of my block of apartments, there was yet another locked door. No lights either (not to self — bring my little flashlight when I leave).
One more guess (OK, 20) from my block of keys let me in (and I locked it behind me) and then two more doors in, and ahhhh…. home in my pink apartment I was.
And then I found a cable modem on the floor. Right next to a bear rug. Seriously. I think it is dead but it is staring at me right now. At least he is quiet.
And… well…. as you can see… I got it working.
I bought some Skype money and called the cell to let my wife know I arrived and things were well. Nothing much had happened with me today (smile).
And then went to sleep.
Got up Wednesday morning about 7:00 local time and wrote this entry after reading some email.
At this point I will head out and walk around until about 1:00 — where I will be picked up for my next adventure — some consulting at a local company implementing scrum here.
More later. I hope .
Still looking around wondering if I am in someone else’s apartment. O well…. for now I am OK.
Gotta run….
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June 20, 2007